Uncategorized

ON ABSOLUTE DELEGATION OF PERSONAL INITIATIVE TO FATE

In life there are those who love to run away from taking action, initiative or having to make a tough decision or choice by using the erroneous excuse, “If it is meant to be then it will happen”, or, “If it was meant to be it shall come to pass”. I beg to differ. If it is meant to be, you have to play a role. You have a part to play in the matter. You do. Infact, your mindset should be: ‘if it is meant to be then it is up to me’, since in truth, to some degree the outcome shall depend predominantly on the role you played, your initiative, especially whether you did something or nothing. Either way, your personal initiative is paramount to the outcome. Not fate’s role; not fate. If anything fate has but a minor role to play as we shall see later on.

This article touches on such who love to avoid facing issues and matters as they should. Especially tough choices and decisions. We shall highlight on this tendancy to opt to leave affairs to ‘fate’ to iron out. Keep in mind our focal group is those who love this unnecessary excuse; using that ‘fate’ slogan. ‘Fate’ being their favorite calling card. A calling card I feel is often misappropriately initiated.

Let us now proceed to delve into it together, hoping to shed light on the matter and eventually expose the fallacy therein. In the end, we hope to prove to them that their use of the slogan is to abscond duty on their part; specifically the duty of having to take personal initiative to engage self hands on in the matter or unfolding affair, as is required and expected of them by the matter at hand, contrary to their insinuated notion that the matter is beyond them hence their relegation of it to ‘fate’.The final outcome hopefully being to awaken them to open their eyes to their erroneously imposed myopia of delegation of personal initiative to ‘fate’ whereas the matter calls upon one’s personal input and initiative.

*********************************************

When it comes to some matters and affairs, some people are fond of delegating all personal initiative and person input to ‘fate’. They fail to realise that there are matters which, regardless of the assumed role ascribed to fate to play, to some extend one’s personal input and initiative is necessary. Fate does, and shall indeed play its part eventually, but, the outcome to some degree will depend on the initiative and input of the participant or concerned party or parties. Personal input or lack of it therein, has a direct influence on fate; whether intentionally, unintentionally, passively or actively .

You cannot fight fate but you can influence it. Just as actions have consequences, inaction does so too. Every choice has a consequence that will eventually shape the outcome of your fate. It is therefore unwise to settle for inactivity in affairs touching on your life at a personal level, opting to delegate the role to fate. If it is meant to be then it is up to you; whether directly or indirectly, partially or fully. The bottom line being; there is always a part for you to play, to some degree. You always have a role. You will never lack a role, and ‘inactivity’ is not one of them.Fate cannot and will never work alone. In fact it has never done so.

Passivity, hence, is not a role. Ancient people now long gone played their roles to determine their eventuality. They governed their actions and that influenced the eventual results they received.

Posterity shall have to play individual roles too to determine their fate. The future shall be no different just as the past was not either. Things do not merely happen, regardless of how much some people attribute it to fate. There was an active role an individual or individuals played for their ‘fate’ to eventially turn out as it did; unbeknownst to the party or parties involved.

You cannot simply buy a farm then go ahead to claim ‘if it is meant to be I shall have a bumper harvest’. It is not practical or logical, leave alone prudent in any way. You must play a role whether directly or indirectly to justify the validation and assertion of the ‘delegated-to-fate’ assumption.

Fate does not operate under total absolution of the matter at hand. Nothing should be wholly delegated to fate; there should be partial or wholehearted engagement. Disengagement though is also an option, with consequences. Play a part before waiting for fate’s verdict.Failure to do so and the matter may take a nose dive, only for the party concerned to fallaciously explain it as ‘it wasn’t meant to be'(it was fated so).

What the party may not be aware of is the fact that the conclusion may have been erroniously arrived at simply due to the fact that they predetermined the outcome of the assumed ‘fate’. Their undoing in real sense lies in their earlier ‘hands-off’ approach. Nothing to do with fate. Their relegation of the whole affair to the ‘fate mentality’ to make a decide for them is their indoing. Consequently, they are left merely to accept the verdict of their choice. A verdict which thought they think has been determined by fate, was actually orchestrated by their inactivity and lack of taking initiative.They fail to realize that the negative outcome was brought about by them, specifically by their inaction. It had nothing to do with fate.

Simply put, had they played a minor role in any way, whether directly or indirectly, chances are the outcome would have been different. Hence it is incredulous to delegate matters to fate, especially if it involves two people. It is as bizarre as desiring to eat fries and even having the resources to make it happen but opting to take no initiative, rather claiming ‘today if I am meant to eat fries someone shall knock at my door with a plate full of fries. This being in line with their mentality of ‘f it is meant to be it shall be’.

Eventually, when the day ends without any knock with a plate of fries, the fellow concludes that ‘I wasn’t meant to have fries today!”See how ludicrous delegation of initiative to fate is concerning some affairs that require one’s engagement?My advice: when it comes to some matters in life, your personal initiative is of paramount significance to the eventual outcome.

Fate does not take absolute charge and control, rather works with you to shape the eventual outcome…whether positive or negative. If you have played your part and matters turn out a certain way, then, and only then should you confidently declare it was fated so.

On the other hand, if you previously delegated all initiave and input on your part concerning a matter and left it to ‘fate’ to decide, then, whether it turns out for or against you, claim not ‘it was fated to be’ or ‘it wasn’t fated to be’. That would be a fallacy and self delusion since whether meant to be or not, your input and initiative was required, whether directly or indirectly, partially or fully. Hence your lack of participation ‘fated’ your eventual ‘fate’, and ‘fate’ had nothing to do with the eventual outcome.

By now you must have realized that the message simply is that the outcome of affairs is simply determined by the consequence of either your inaction or action relative to the outcome anticipated in any matter, rather than a validation of our suspected outcome by fate!

Now, let us use a simple but practical analogy to lay this matter to rest. Follow through…

Say you recently purchased a mobile phone. Days later you misplace it in your own house. In a specific room to be exact. You do not bother to look for it regardless of the fact that you can find it. Instead you opt to conclude the matter with the statement,” I was not meant to own it!” Is that prudent, let alone being logical, surely?

The above analogy is more or less the case with those who totally delegate matters to fate instead of playing their expected role in determining the eventually outcome of matters relative to fate.

It is high time we realize that often in life if it is meant to be then it is up to you, first of all, before forfeiting matters to fate. Only after playing your role by taking full initiative in regards to the matter at hand should one await the verdict of fate. The reality behind this approach is simply this-fate is the outcome of our actions or inaction.

Fate hence is not the dictator of outcomes of matters regardless of our input or its lack thereof. In reality, it is a manifestor of the consequence(s) of our actions or inactions in regards to the matter. Fate hence is a ‘consequence’ or ‘outcome’, not a ‘determinor’ or ‘justifier’. Shift your paradigm of fate, change how you

In conclusion; personal initiative and input is apriori to ascribing the outcome of any matter which you want to deem credible(the outcome that is), to fate! This is an appeal to those who may still be in disagreement thus far and hold to ascribing outcome(s) of matters solely to fate. Change. Take initiative. Play your part then leave the rest to fate. To be more specific-play your part before leaving the rest to fate!

Standard
Uncategorized

THE ‘SUCCESS STORY’.

Every opportunity was once a difficulty. Every smooth road was once a difficult unbeaten path. Somebody somewhere though, decided to view it differently.
Difficulties may not necessarily be obstructions, they may also contain instructions embedded therein. Within every perceived setback or obstacle, a seed, either of an equal or greater benefit; opportunity.
What may manifest as your biggest setback or problem, may infact disguise your greatest opportunity! Such is the surprises life occasionally throws our way.
Are we not well versed with the ad age “one man’s meet is another man’s poison”?
So is one man’s mishap another man’s opportunity. It all depends on our attitude and approach in life towards it.
With every achievement a positive input is required of the individual, with every accomplishment a dedication, with every success a tale of accomplishment; how you overcame it!
No success lacks a story; the ‘success story’.
What shall your succcess story be…and if already manifest, what is the story?
Everyone should have a story, everyone will have the opportunity to stand on the platform of their accomplishment(s) and narrate their story: it all begins with maximizing on the availed opportunity or opportunities. Success begins with a resolution to tackle your perceived difficulty. Therein lies your story.
Go forth boldly and put your back into your setback; your story awaits: the success story!
Keep in mind that your audience is waiting, has been waiting, waiting for you.

Standard
Uncategorized

‘LOVE’ AFTER LOVE: The ordeal of a broken heart.

Rush not into a new relationship. First focus on self. Know thyself. Study your strengths and weaknesses. Gauge your relationship aptittude. Steer clear of people with emotional backlog. Give them time to cleanse and purge their heart and ready their mind for a new relationship.
Rushing to date such may stunt their healing, resulting in a warped flow of emotions towards you. Steer clear of men who appear composed but seem to be still figuring self out. Especially on what they really want when it comes to love and dating.
This is because once they finally figure self out and you are not top of their ‘finally found’ list, they will walk out on you. This is because they will subconsciously cluster you in their category of ‘baggage’…fit to be left in their past so as to open a new chapter of love in their life. This is especially so if you know much about their previous struggles and battle to find self. They shall leave you in their past so as to bring their life into perspective.
When told something incriminating about your new partner, rush not to them seeking affirmation or confirmation on the matter. This is because new partners rarely expose the dirt about their past, especially if they are genuinely smitten by you. They always put their best foot forward. The reason being they fear losing you hence they will not risk exposing or revealing their past shortcomings or flaws.
As the cliché goes ‘ask no questions and you will be told no lies’, adopt the same concerning incriminating intelligence on their past. Especially if the relationship is still in its early stages, also known as ‘the morning of love’. This phase is full of lies and mere public relations from either party. Dirty linen are rarely washed in public during this stage.
If you cannot contain self and do find self succumbing to curiosity as is often the case with human nature, expect to be lied to or expect a denial.
The partner will deny the claims and may even poke holes into the claim, even going as far as to discredit the source.
The surprising thing though is you may find self accepting their half truths and filtered answer as the gospel truth and the sum of the matter. This is normal in the morning of love. Psychologists know this truth. They claim that when we are newly in love we tend to believe everything our partner tells us, whether true or false. This is because we view them as the ideal future longterm partner hence cannot bring self to taint them in any way. They are infallible to us, that’s why we chose them in the first place!
On that note, if you cannot bring self to accept their inadequate responses and unsatisfactory answers as most will, especially those who have borne the brunt of betrayal in a past relationship hence are now extra cautious with the new partner, try your best to restrain your curiosity. Do not let your past mess your present. If you cannot and you get overwhelmed to get to the bottom of matters, then go back to the source of your intel to crosscheck the facts gathered against the feedback received so far to affirm or verify your findings. Finally make a verdict with your heart…do not overlook or ignore your gut feeling.
On the other hand if your source confirms that you are right, bring up the matter to your partner as though you are the one who found it out, then seek to tackle it amicably. Do not try to use it as a vantage point for a breakup. There could be a logical explanation to the matter, even if it may not seem to be that logical to you at the moment.
It is much easier to tackle an issue with a current partner than moving on seeking a new partner with less or no baggage; you may end up with someone who has mastered the art of lies and deception; one hiding or masking bigger, or even the same issue.
Your current may have been working on the matter, or mustering the courage to confess it to you at the right opportunity. They may even have come close to overcoming it before you rushed to pull the plug on the relationship. You may end up forfeiting your ‘would-be-reformed’ partner to someone else or even cause them to despair of change all the same since you inadvertently showed them there’s no point of changing. They may conclude to self: why change when you are still being judged according to your past?
Worse case scenario, you may give someone else a ‘monster-underneath-the-good-facade’ partner. This may occur if the dumped partner develops bitterness and resentment at not being given a chance to prove they have changed or, an opportunity to work on self. Eventually making them learn to conceal their weaknesses and shortcomings since exposing self and owning up caused them to lose the one they loved(you). As for what may befall you once you dump the ‘was-willing-to-change’ partner who was discreetly working on their shortcomings for your sake, you may have let go of the proverbial ‘devil-you-know’ and find self later relating their devilish character to your new found ‘angel’, only for the angel to turnout a worse option!
Moving on to a new relationship is not easy. A past relationship may lower your esteem and warp your partner selection capability, causing you to settle for less than you actually deserve. Especially if you are in a rush to get a partner simply to overcome your ‘single’ status.
This low esteem mentality may cause you to conclude that there’s no one good out there for you, or that no one can ever replace your past partner, or that any future partner you may fall for will come short of your expectations based on your past relationship experiences and ordeals. Hence you may end up settling for anyone who shows an interest in you, not because you truely love them for who they are, rather simply because you are tired of searching for your preferred candidate.
Realise that past experiences have a stronger influence when it comes to decision making than current convictions or logical reasoning. Hence you may find it hard to trust a genuine partner, even if they have not given you reason to mistrust them. Lowering the bar for them may also cause them to not manifest their greatness or unleash their full potential in the relationship.
The result being they may not treat you as special as they should, or approach the relationship with the seriousness required of a longterm partner since you are too emotionally fatiqued to keep them in check.
The negative consequence of this is that you are the one most likely to end up dissatisfied with the relationship later on. Realise that whatever you tolerate in the onset of a relationship is what shall be the eventual trend or ‘blueprint’ of the relationship.
Hence if you say nothing concerning your partner’s mediocrity in the onset of the relationship simply because you are emotionally fatigued to dump them and continue searching for a good partner, or simply because you do not want to lose them and end up single once more, you shall suffer the resultant consequences. Regardless of how nice or perfect you are to them.
In short if you do not oppose mediocre treatment from your new partner, embracing them simply for the sake of settling in a relationship regardless of their obvious flaws in even basic etiquette demanded of a partner in a relationship, then you are setting self up for future misery. Never opt to lower the bar when seeking for a new partner for a relationship, even if simply for the sake of riding self of singlehood.
Do not even justify this move or discourage self that if you stick to high standards or have a high sense of self worth while seeking a new partner you may end up dying alone. No. This is a fallacy used by people who are unaware that they have been damaged by past relationships and now possess low self esteem and a low sense of self worth hence are willing to settle with any partner who simply shows an interest in them. They console self that at least they have someone whom they can call their own and are no longer single.
They fail to fathom a paramount truth: when starting off a new relationship whatever you do not curb or curtail in the genesis of the relationship, especially a vice, is what you shall eventually complain about when the relationship finally matures. That shall be the modus operandi of the relationship, its blueprint. In your desperation do not accept an unhealthy relationship…be patient: better must come!
Failure to observe this then the unhealthy union may do a number on your already shattered esteem. This may lead to a breakup which will also further dent you to a point that if you do try to date once more, potential partner’s may find you needy, clingy, insecure and skeptic in the relationship.
Worse still, incase you do break off the unhealthy relationship to seek a desirable one, in your zeal for perfection, the next time round, you may place new bar so high that you actually lack a qualified partner. Your potential next partner may still be working on self, or you may have developed an unhealthy mentality towards love, contracted from the past relationship.
Keep in mind that though your former partner may have scarred your heart with their flaws, you may also be guilty of scarring them, especially if they were genuinely working on self, and now they may appear unsuitable to a potential someone elsewhere. Especially those who know their worth. Hence just as your pool is now limited, so is theirs!

Standard
Uncategorized

BE A ‘REBEL’ WITH A CAUSE

If you have a strong conviction that what you are doing is right, stand boldly and proclaim it; don’t fear or be intimidated. If you make a firm decision concerning any matter, uphold it to the end and allow not self to be swayed or offset from that course of action by anyone. Yes, not even a friend or bosom buddy. Stand. Firm. Boldly. Proclaim. Practice. It; whatever ‘it’ is. Be not convinced otherwise; especially if the unction stems from deep within and your conscience is clear and undoubtful about it.
Remember, intimidation is a weapon best used to oppose people with a right stand or a firm stand on any matter. It is used not necessarily to make them change their mind rather to even simply weaken them and make them appear shaky and in doubt concerning that which they stand for or profess, whatever ‘it’ is.
Fall not victim to this tactic and antic. Indeed there are those who are intimidated by your firm stand or resolve, and will seek to give you a disposition to try offset your position! Do not bow to their pressure. Cower not. Conform not!
Always keep this in mind and you’ll eventually earn their respect and uphold your self respect, dignity; even if they do not blatantly admit it in person to you.

Standard
Uncategorized

ON MISHAPS

In every cloud, a silver lining; every setback, a comeback; every misfortune, fortune; ever impediment, freedom; yes, to every negative therein lies a positive. To every dead end lies a way through. It all depends on how we ‘perceive’ rather than ‘look at’ the matter. Yes, in life many see, but few perceive. Same case; many hear but few actually listen. Allow me to enlighten you on an aspect of life: when you hear the sentiment that “some have eyes but cannot see, and, ears but cannot hear” , it is not referring to the functionality of the organ. It is deeper than that. Otherwise it would be totally illogical to claim that one who possesses the faculty of sight cannot see, and ears but cannot hear!
In essence it is simply an admonition to society to look deeper into matters to fully comprehend their relevance, significance and role in one’s growth and development. Inshort, an advice to society not to take matters at face value; either through rash conclusions, assumptions, prejudices or past reasonings, and then opting to tackle it or approach it on an ‘as-is’ basis. No, look into it. Further into it. Deeply and keenly. Give it some benefit of doubt; do not merely see it for what it is, rather ‘perceive’ it.
Yes, seek to apprehend it by the mind. Only then will you comprehend it’s significance in relation to your future growth and development. Once at that point, you will never view problems as problems. You will soon discover that many a times in life ‘the probnlem is not the problem, rather HOW we view the problem IS the problem’. ‘Problems’ are simply matters awaiting a solution and, once solved or overcome, leaves one stronger and wiser than previously was.
Put in a more palatable jargon: a setback is a setup for a comeback!

Standard
Uncategorized

THE TWO MODES OF ‘REASONING’.

Indeed ‘reasoning’ is of two kinds: the head or the heart. There are matters of life and moments in life wherein you may reason with your head yet get it wrong; end up making the wrong choice. Whereas there are others where reasoning with your heart ends up with you being right; making the logical choice. Though such moments are relative.
Regardless, some moments and scenarios in life deem it prudent to listen to your heart in spite of how logical, factual, rational or reasonable your mind presents its case. The heart oft does not have the luxury of justifying self to you as to why you should give it an ear; it simply knows that it knows-no facts, no figures, no supportive argument, no justification. It does not operate on a ‘facts and figures’ basis, like the mind, to justify its reasoning.
It simply enlightens you on the matter at hand through intuition. Though intuition implies ‘tuition from within’, it takes the form of ‘a feeling deep within.’ That is how the heart makes its view on a matter known to you. That is how it reasons. No facts, no figures.
This is followed by an occasional intermittent and radiant feeling of deep peace within that surpasses understanding, every time you reflect on this proposed solution from it, the heart. This feeling fades or temporarily vanishes when you move your focus to the option offered by the mind through its logic and reason; only to resurface when you refocus on the heart. This refocusing or focusing on your heart is simply ‘listening to your heart’!
Finally it leaves you to make the final call on the matter. It leaves you to decide on the next course of action: whether to accept or turn down its proposal. At such times, it is wise to side with it, listen to it and embrace its verdict on the matter. Especially if you feel the deep conviction within; for at such times it is rarely wrong! Yet ironically, it will never impose its choice or verdict on you. It simply proposes the solution, then leaves you to accept or decline.
My advice: accept it, especially if you feel the deep conviction piercing within; for then the heart may just be right!

 

Standard
Enlightenment, Information, Insight

THE ‘APPOINTED HOUR’

Learn to give time, time!
Some issues pertaining to your future welfare and wellbeing require time-patience!
When the ‘right time’ comes to tackle a matter comes, you will intuitively know, and the issue that formerly appeared to stagnate in your life will begin to freely move forward as though it has been lubricated. You will suddenly have its solution and how to go about tackling it. It will appear so simple and cooperative that you will wonder why it formerly proved difficult, daunting and challenging. Speculate not, its hour of troubleshooting has merely arrived. Yes, its hour to work out and ‘cooperate’ in solving has come. This is known as ‘the appointed hour’!

To every matter pertaining to human life is an appointed hour; its due season! The time to tackle it and it cooperating in response to your input. It suddenly seems to cooperate with your choice of solutions to tackle it. Ironically, but not surprising, the same solutions you are using to tackle it may be the same that previously refused to work. No surprise there; the appointed hour for the solution to work may not had arrived formerly. Now is the time, its time to work.

As for matters you formerly did not understand, you shall begin to. The matters that did not make sense, or you formerly could not comprehend, may begin to make sense. This is ‘divine intuition’! The hour of comprehension. The time of comprehension and understanding. To each, a unique timing. If you currently do not comprehend what you desire to, regardless of your focus and attempt at alertness, fret not; simply hold on to the desired topic, subject, or subject matter- a time shall come when comprehend it fully you shall…eventually. Interestingly, when that time comes, even if you need it to be taught to you or broken down to you for full comprehension, that shall happen; even if you formerly could not grasp it as it was being simplified to you. This time round, you shall.
Yes, when the student is ready the teacher shall appear! The teacher who shall make sense of the matter to you, and for you. Hard to believe? You best believe it; or wait for it to eventually happen to you…then believe; in the meantime simply give time, time!

Standard